As I get out of the shower, and wrap a towel around myself, I cant help but think about tonight. Tonight is the party of the season, and I can hardly believe that Im invited. I mean; Im a social outcast! Or at least, thats what Ive convinced myself. Yet I still feel a bit of excitement as I retrieve my new ball gown from the closet. This is my first ball gown, and as I stand in front of a full-length mirror, holding the dress up, I cant help but feel pride at owning something so beautiful. Surprisingly, I cant wait to put it on, but secretly I cant help but think, Why bother? I try to banish this thought, plus others, but they still remain in the back of my head. And the fear in my heart quickly grows.
NO!!! I mentally kick myself for thinking so darkly, and hold up the dress again to make myself feel better, beautiful. But its too late, and I feel the darkness consume me. My hearts being ripped out and theres nothing I can do! Its all I can do to slip the dress over my head. After a few adjustments I look at myself in the mirror. The dress is simple, yet elegant. I have chosen a gothic type ball gown, a corset with a billowing skirt. The dress is all black, with just a few deep purple roses to accent it. On my arms, I wear black, lacey fishnets. For shoes I chose a simple pair of black 4-inch heels. The only jewelry I wear is a black, gothic-style cross around my neck. My makeup is very minimal as well. Just a little powder, to look pale, black lipstick, and deep purple nail polish, that almost looks black.
Time to fix my hair. I grab a hairbrush and pull my light brown hair into a simple, but perfect, bun. It looks good, especially with the golden highlights that are in my hair. To accentuate the gothic theme, I tuck a real black rose behind my ear. I barely notice its almost time to leave, as I once again give in to second thoughts. What if Im not good enough?! What if they dont accept me?! What if the guy who got me invited doesnt really care about how I feel?! Could this be some kind of trick?!
I look at the time and realize I have to leave. As I step out the door, I find a gothic, horse drawn carriage. The guy who brought my poetry to the attention of the host, had it sent for me. As I sit in the carriage, I stare out the window at the freshly fallen snow. I wonder what this mystery guy is like. At the bottom of the invitation, he had signed Eclipse. Just Eclipse. I havent even met him, yet I already feel that his names sake probably fits him perfectly. In the invitation, he also said that at the door I was to give my full name and my affiliation with art, dark poetry.
As we get closer, I think about the fact that my first ball has a gothic Christmas theme. It was surprising at first, but I quickly decided that it fit well together. The carriage comes to a halt, and I get out. My fear squeezes my heart, and I can barely walk as I make my way to the front door. Just as I was told, there is a man checking invitations. I hand him mine and he asks my name and affiliation. I unconsciously straighten my back and proudly, if not timidly, say My name is Samantha Kaye Anne Elizabeth Conley, and I am a dark poet! This answer apparently satisfies him, because he allows me entrance to the Christmas ball.
As I step in, I cant help but look around in a bit of aw. All the decorations are dark, and gothic. A Christmas tree holds blood red ornaments and black garland. Roses are everywhere, and everyone is dressed gothic style. The words vampires and demons come to mind and I quickly realize that I may be the only human here. As Im thinking this, a man of handsome looks approaches me. He is wearing but, a simple black tux, with tails, and a black rose on his coat. He has long black hair, tied back, and has eyes, so dark. I feel trapped in his gaze. Is he the one who invited me? The one who promised to make my dreams come true? He stops in front of me, and smiles. I feel light headed but I dare not collapse for fear of showing weakness.
I see you got here alright. I must say its nice to finally see the face behind the poetry. He steps closer. Your eyes are such a lovely color. They almost remind me of deep pools of melted chocolate. I feel shock and flattery all at the same time, for having received such a compliment.
I stumble a little as I try to curtsy to him. Thank you for inviting me. I hope Im not intruding. I look him straight in the eyes, hoping he cant see into my heart.
He can, I realize, as he extends his hand to me. You dont have to worry, youre not intruding. Im a very big fan of your poetry. Are you ready to have your dream come true?
I can only stare at his hand. I think about how badly I want to be a published poet, but it just seems so far away. And then it hits me; Im finally going to become the cat demon that Ive always wanted to be! I look up into his eyes, to see if hes lying, yet somehow I know he isnt. I smile and lift up my hand, placing it in his. Yes! I am ready to become one with the night. He puts his arm around my waist and leads me into the room.
Oh, what a dark Christmas it is!